This is a very sad day for me...I had to help my Shy Guy to the rainbow bridge. He has been in renal failure for about a year and a half and has been monitored in Lloyd during this time. In the last week he started to refuse food and those who know Shilo know that this is definitely not his normal. The last few days he has been getting sick and becoming more and more lethargic. He was in pain trying to eat anything - ulcers...I tried all his fav.'s. He also dropped a ton of weight fast and had a bizarre odor coming from his mouth (not the usual rotten teeth smell). I took him to Lloyd this morning and came home without him. Through blood work and a urinalysis it was clear he came to the end of the road of this disease...stage 4 renal failure. My choice was to bring him home and let him die a slow and painful death in the next couple of days to maybe a week or do right by him and have him put to sleep. Many tears and a wonderful Vet telling me the humane thing to do would be to set him free I came to my decision. They moved him into a consult room and layed him on a couch and let me be with him for as long as I needed. All I did was pet him and hug him and tell him how much I loved him and that he was a good boy. I told him to go be with Marley. Any strength he had he used to lick me on my cheek and nose. He was totally trusting of me, and only me, for the last nine years and this was the last thing I had to do for him...he needed me and I owed him this. When I was ready, Dr. Newman came in and explained again how peaceful it would be and I held him in my arms and talked to him while she administered the drug...she was talking to him as well and stroking his paw....it didn't take long and I could feel the life leaving his body until he was gone. This hurts and hurts a lot...I know undoubtedly I did the right thing, but this house is missing a very important member of the family. There is a heaviness I am feeling and tonight will not be fun as I try to fall asleep.
Before I left with him this morning Kailey told me. 'you bring him back here with medicines to make him better...I don't want him to go to Heaven yet.' I told her it was not my decision and I would do my best....she has not asked about him yet and I find that very odd....it is coming and I am just wondering if she knows I am upset and is leaving it alone for now...not sure. Last night she insisted on having Shilo in her room for story time. This poor kid has had many lessons of death & all before her 5th Birthday. :-(
This morning something told me that I had better ask for help - like, call a friend to come with me and boy am I glad I did that....thank you so much.
side note: So weird...not knowing what happened to Parker makes it impossible for me to accept that he is with Marley there is no closure and I guess I am in denial or hoping he is being loved my someone out there.
