Goodbye Shilo....

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This is a very sad day for me...I had to help my Shy Guy to the rainbow bridge.  He has been in renal failure for about a year and a half and has been monitored in Lloyd during this time.  In the last week he started to refuse food and those who know Shilo know that this is definitely not his normal.  The last few days he has been getting sick and becoming more and more lethargic.  He was in pain trying to eat anything - ulcers...I tried all his fav.'s.  He also dropped a ton of weight fast and had a bizarre odor coming from his mouth (not the usual rotten teeth smell).  I took him to Lloyd this morning and came home without him.  Through blood work and a urinalysis it was clear he came to the end of the road of this disease...stage 4 renal failure.  My choice was to bring him home and let him die a slow and painful death in the next couple of days to maybe a week or do right by him and have him put to sleep. Many tears and a wonderful Vet telling me the humane thing to do would be to set him free I came to my decision.  They moved him into a consult room and layed him on a couch and let me be with him for as long as I needed.  All I did was pet him and hug him and tell him how much I loved him and that he was a good boy. I told him to go be with Marley. Any strength he had he used to lick me on my cheek and nose.  He was totally trusting of me, and only me, for the last nine years and this was the last thing I had to do for him...he needed me and I owed him this.  When I was ready, Dr. Newman came in and explained again how peaceful it would be and I held him in my arms and talked to him while she administered the drug...she was talking to him as well and stroking his paw....it didn't take long and I could feel the life leaving his body until he was gone.  This hurts and hurts a lot...I know undoubtedly I did the right thing, but this house is missing a very important member of the family. There is a heaviness I am feeling and tonight will not be fun as I try to fall asleep.

 Before I left with him this morning Kailey told me. 'you bring him back here with medicines to make him better...I don't want him to go to Heaven yet.'  I told her it was not my decision and I would do my best....she has not asked about him yet and I find that very odd....it is coming and I am just wondering if she knows I am upset and is leaving it alone for now...not sure.  Last night she insisted on having Shilo in her room for story time.  This poor kid has had many lessons of death & all before her 5th Birthday. :-(

This morning something told me that I had better ask for help - like, call a friend to come with me and boy am I glad I did that....thank you so much.

side note:  So weird...not knowing what happened to Parker makes it impossible for me to accept that he is with Marley there is no closure and I guess I am in denial or hoping he is being loved my someone out there.

Perfect Sunday

 building the great wall of Kailey Ella...notice the foot sticking out of the sleeper????  She refuses to wear socks so I thought I would get one up on her and keep her in sleepers....who had the last laugh?

 loves Kailey's pots and pans she got for Christmas.

 The Ella and Bob show...

 yup, that is a sock he has...

 you little stinker...BUSTED...stop feeding Bob'aroo

luck you are so cute mister man

just some fun shots of Bella Boo

 pulls up on her ride and parks and watches some TV

 I just love her profile

partners in CRIME!!!!  Honestly those 2 get into trouble together.

Ella's new sled

So hot dog making is a skill few posses I guess....

This one made me giggle.  After preschool we had to go to Walmart to get a few things and Kailey asked if she could have a hot dog for lunch - I never have them in the house as I think they are just plain nasty.  I compromised and picked up some chicken dogs.  On the way home she is talking all about eating these things and I just asked her how Kim makes them, if she boils them or nukes them or fries them and Kailey, looking all worried, pipes up with: "you are making them Mommy?  ummmmmm....ummmmm...I don't think you know really much about hot dogs so we should leave it to Daddy cause he knows a bunch a bunch about them".  Seriously...seriously???  she was worried I would screw up something like a hot dog....hahahaha.  I made them and she had 2 including the entire bun and I had one and decided...yup, they are still nasty. ;-)  Just thought that was a funny one.

Kailey has a bunch of little valentines with an assortment of tattoos and candies thanks to her preschool party today.  She was just vibrating holding her little fancied up Kleenex box when I picked her up.  She is definitely going to wear these cards out.  She was also super excited as this was Connor's(little boy she hung out with as a baby) first day there and she got to be his helper and he stuck to her like glue and gave her a hug goodbye after school.  He was just beaming he was so excited to have a little bag of valentines.  She was so excited that 'he wasn't nervous at all cause he had me there and then he put a toy fish in my pants and I laughed'did'  oye.  gave her a pep talk about saying hi to him since he will be scared at first.  I I remember being so excited as a kid (until crummy boys and hormones started) on Valentines day so I am loving every minute of this.
xoxoxoxoxo

Valentine Sweat shop at the Ruggiero household!

So amazed at Kailey's attention to detail and hard work with this project.  She wrote her name on every single valentine, put them in envelopes, picked 2 tattoos, one sticker and a hot lip and sealed it and then put 2 stickers on the outside...multiply this times 23.  She was very aware of what card should go to what friend and remembered all of her classmates names except 2!!!  This whole thing took an hour and a half of hardcore work.  What a kid! :-)

My Valentine from Kailey

She told me it is a picture of a kid, a flower all at the beach! <3 love her.  Also love the fact that she is signing her art now.   She has a goal:  she want to color like Micheal Martchenko (Robert Munch's illustrator and I think she really likes the sound of his name).

Ella - doing much much better!!!

 Well, I have to say, this little chicklet really had me worried.  As you know she had the flu (barfing) then Kailey got it then me and finally Jack.  We all were on the mend including Ella (she was a-ok for 2 whole days), but she re-lapsed Wednesday big time.  When I picked her up from Kim's she was wearing Aiden's clothes as she pooped  (mega diarrhea) all over what she was wearing and then all over her spare outfit.  She looked awful and according to Kim she was totally fine all day until 3:30pm; I picked them up at 4:30.  she had another big poo in the car on the way home.  I changed her and sat her on the ground and that is when I FREAKED OUT TOTALLY.  Her eyes fluttered and rolled back and she fell over....I freaked.  She fainted and totally felt like a rag doll when I picked her up (no head control).  I rushed her right into Emerg. I was put in a room within the hour - ticked some ppl off that had been waiting for 2 hours already, but obviously she didn't look the best to them.  The Dr. came in and looked her over and raised concerns that she a)was crying so hard with no tears and b)her fontanel - soft spot(sp?) was sunken and c)chapped lips.  They wanted to start IV fluids, but whatever energy she had she used it to be CRAZY uncooperative.  I brought a sippy of water and we both agreed to give it the hour to see if I could get fluids in her that way.  I was able to get about 2" into her and the Dr. came back and ordered bloodwork.  I had to pin her down while they took 3 vials from her. :-(  That was totally awful, but I managed.  The results came back with her white blood cells elevated.  They taped a bag to her privates in hopes to do a urinalysis, but dehydration=no pee so they gave her a dbl dose of antibiotic and she is on a prescription for 10 days.  She has a double ear infection, but that shouldn't cause the WBC count to be that high according to her.  They are worried about her lungs and the fact that she was recently exposed to bacterial pneumonia so she has to finish this prescription.  There were several emergencies that came in that night so I apologized if I took up her time and she told me to not be silly that dehydration comes on fast and furious in these little guys and I totally did the right thing by bringing her in.  She collapsed on me 3 times (once in front of the Dr. and she hurried over to me to listen to her chest and that is when the tears started).  BUT - she is doing awesome now, still can see it in her eyes and she is tired, but soooooo much better...phew.  Love this little girl so much and, in light of some recent news I got in the last few days, life is so very fragile.



  

check out my new polar bear sleigh!!! Had really hoped to take advantage of the nice weather and get outside so we took the girls, the furry girls and BOB out to the field for a run and that is when the fun really began...we got stuck for an hour and then we called for back-up and eventually got out.  Thanks Brad and Cheryl for always being our 911 call. <3  All was not lost - the dogs ran their butts off, kailey was pumped to play in the snow and pretended she got her sled stuck over and over again and Ella took a nap.

It has been one year today....

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I just cannot believe that it has been a whole year since Marley died.  I miss him terribly and there is honestly not a day that goes by where he doesn't cross my mind.  I love(d) that dog with every fiber of my being.  He was the most amazing companion/fur baby and when I think of how loyal he was to me I really wish I would have maybe let him on my bed more...bad breath and all or let him have that food that dropped...or on that final night would have held him longer or maybe made him a steak or something...I just want him back.  I have to believe that one day we will be reunited and until then I hold him in my heart and nothing at all can separate us. 

I love you Marls and always will. xoxoxxo

and now curly....

yup, she is barfing now as well. :-(

My Poor Ella. :-(

My poor girl is sick.  She was totally normal up until about 6:30ish last night and within one hour she vomited 5 times and this continued ALL night long every 15-30minutes until finally she got a 2 hour reprieve at 4:45am.  She needed me to hold her and help her so she camped out in bed with me.  She snuggled right in and would sit up and fuss when she was ready to barf so I has warning most of the time to get a towel.  The minute she would get it out of her she would totally collapse on top of me.  She was so totally exhausted that she would fall fast asleep right after even sitting up.  I hate seeing her like this and so wish I could have taken her place last night...and I hate barfing so much.  At one point I had her butt on my cheek with her little feet buried under my neck...anything to make her more comfortable.  She was using me like a blankie to comfort herself (if it wasn't for her being so sick I would totally enjoy this cuddle time).  She would rub my arm back and forth and rub her cheek on me.  I thought she was a-ok around lunch time so I gave her some real food (mild) and she ate it like a champ and drank some water and she kept it down until about an hour ago and then it came back up ALLLLLL over the kitchen so I guess I messed up and pushed it too fast.  She is napping in her crib so I am hoping she feels better after.  The pic of her and I was just taken ....literally I just got her changed into clean clothes and she zonked out on me.  She has diarrhea now as well so I am watching for dehydration for sure.  Kailey has started complaining of a stomach ache and I am so hoping it is for some attention and she is going to dodge this flu. :-(  Not sure where I am finding this energy as I only got 2 hours sleep, but phew.

some pictures

 check out all the hair

 teddy bear picnic day at pre-school and this is the bear she chose to bring!

 for something new...singing Katy Perry (all g-rated stuff)

 check out all the new teeth and since this picture she has another bottom one - not the middle though...strange.

 Ella discovered how to use a mic now so it is ONNNNN.  Kailey with lead vocals and Ella Bella on back-up.  Kailey turns her mic way down at times and I am very thankful for that...yikes.

 Bridget's face says it all...pleeease stop singing

not sure how Bob can sleep during this concert

Ella's Cheese Ball Grin

Daily Dance Party caught on tape!

Kailey is really into dancing and is constantly making up new moves as you can see.  Ella also 'feels' the music and butt bounces any time there is something catchy on. :-) ...by the way using the word catchy opened up a major conversation with curly.  "what is ceshy mean?" "is Bob Marley ceshy?  I am really really ceshy to" "no, Baby Ella you are not ceshy."

Ella Talking on the Phone...

Apparently someone ticked her off...hahahahaha.

Welcome!!!

Fancy meeting you here! :-)
Stay tuned for more updates from the Ruggiero household.